Lots of things have been dieing (mainly us,) as we have strated the progression in Crystallos!
We killed our first event and dragons back at the beginning of the fabled period.
So I thought hell, lets wait till fabled season is over with and I'll do this big thing because there might be new fableds.
Man I tell ya Sony never fails to disappoint. With the recession in full swing you could really feel it in Everquest.
10th year anniversary, and all I got was a title, 10kpp, and a "shiny" new roboboar. Ummm yeah at least make it a fast one.
Nope Sony made us run around on a wild goose chase for rehashed gear and clickies that do nothing that shoot fireworks.
Not like 95% of the EQ players have graffics turned down and most are still using the old school graffics!

So we cleared Plane of Time and killed Xegony out of revenge from last year.

Only Planes of Power fabled left unscathed was Cornaiv. Oh wait...He's still broken from last year.
Way to go Sony! You get the Retard Seal of approval!

I guess I shouldn't complain too much, at least we got cake....

But for you nay sayers we did do some of those boring raids. Epeen at it's finest?

So anyway let's get onto a meaningful update. Something with real RPG quality! DRAGONS!
No not the Dragons, Dragons, Dragons thing. Even though we cleared all through Big Bynn I. I'm talking about some that actually have DPS!
Crystallos, bloody confusing, not as much trash as MMM (thank god) but still a pain in the ass!
Four Elements to kill in here then bring down Kerafym the sleeping baby and you get another title and an attaboy from Sony!

Kildrukaun the Ancient Prophet: Not a difficult mob, but none the less a good loot mob.

Grats Shadowbeaver on Earring of Dragon's Fire
Tinyhealer on Facemask of Cleansing
Rodlok on Prismatic High Seer's Boots
and Keaerian on Prismatic Bow-Captain's Boots

Zeixshi`Kar
Grats Lueamien on Cloak of the Draconic Legion and Prismatic Hat of the Burning Wind
Brewce on Enveloping Chromascale Cloak
and Phartos on Prismatic Arch-Elementalist's Hat
No Screenies of this guy, people slack on the submissions.

Tjudawos the Ancient
Grats Brimir on Intricately Carved Greatsword
Sichlor on Flashing Prismatic Knucklewraps
Eteria on Prismatic Blackguard's Gauntlet's
Finelarya on Prismatic War-Bishop's Gauntlet's
and Gorduins on Prismatic Faycite
Again people slacking on Screen submissions.

We have tried our hand at Vyskudra and we think we might have the solution to this puzzle. As soon as that ice cold dwagon is down it's only a matter of a dry run and a kill before we beat Kerafym or however you spell the retarded lazy dwagon's name. I think Daska will have a stick of dynamite lit and in Kera's mouth before he realizes whats happening. Stay tuned.

Now onto SoD missions. We haven't just been doing Crystallos, that would be retarded (like sony.)
Queen Malarian, Rutro the Twisted and General Bahgresh are on rotation now, although we try not to do the General event much. It's just not worth the effort at times. We tried our hand at Field of Scale raids. I've heard that they are insanely ... easy. And they were.

The Library was a bit of a complicated mess, but with the help of the iksar tripping over there own robes, we did it.

Grats Slappah on Lizard Spine Coercer
Qanlaen on Council's Mantle
and Utuzeneth on Eon Woven Cloth Wristband

I took a whole bunch of pics, then I cut them and screwed them up. My bad.

Now Field of Scale raid Kurns was available for touching. So we touched it. We touched it HARD!
Grats Rulltufs on Tower Champions Shield
Cozzs on Eon Forged Plate Vambraces
and O M G HE SPENT DKP! Jitatha on Eon Hardened Leather Gloves

With Kurns in the books we turned our attention toward the Final Confrontation! And we did just that, made it final.
Grats Keaerian on Eon Linked Chain Leggings
Keawedar on Eon Linked Chain Boots
Cozzs on Eon Forged Plate Breastplate
and Mythrill on Bridle of the Flying Imperial Sokokar

Now onto the lighter side of things which is why your actually still reading this dribble. Gnome hate: Nothing sweeter than it, except a dead ranger. WoT has it's share of the midget misfits, but sometimes they try so hard to be smart, that I think they even confuse themselves. Take a look at what Msha had to say about a new aug slot.

The conversation came up that a rival guild had somehow passed us in progression. To that we said who did what? As if we care if someone rushes through content. All it is in the end is O M G look at my epeen. Such an angry inch. But lets see the comments about epeen and how it relates to the gnome population.

Of course you can't have a good game of tennis without a ball.

How about the recession? How's that treating you? Jitatha has found ways to avoid this tragedy.

Speaking of Jitatha, he's been a bit different lately. Maybe its the recession maybe not. Who know's. But one thing is for sure, he has urges like every man, and sometimes he needs those urges fulfilled!

And sometimes he just gets strait down to the point.

And to really seal the deal he gives his opion's of the life expectancy of a mage in combat!

Shadowbeaver got caught rushing back to the raid to be there on time! It really gets on my nerves when guildies jump ship to the higher end guilds. But there is one thing that's worse. When Guildies change to the mobs side...

Could it be that the mobs have invaded Nocturnes mind as well?

Now Trygvve has been TRYING to lay low and not get into the front page. But it seems he just can't control himself!

The Warriors have been making me wonder, what REALLY goes on in the tank channel. Do they have a wotwarrior channel with the password gaylords? Daska was interested in a new technique he had to leave raid!

Sometimes I really do think they are in a gay porn ring. The jealousy can really heat up! You tell me, is Tryg jealous or spot on?

Tryg proves he likes some man to man relations

It's gotten so bad that Guuz has been infected!

I asked Hardabit what he thinks of the new fabled adventure raids this year.

I couldn't agree with you more. Nerf pallies. Since we are talking about Hardabit, let's see his few of foreplay

When asked how his night out with the boys were, we were greeted with a colorful conversation!

Now either I'm loose as they come, or Hardabit is just well... small. You Decide, remember... he's a dwarf.

One good thing is when people conduct personnel hygiene. Nothing says purity like a freshly washed ass. But what happens when you trim your toe nails at the computer while waiting for raid to start?

Now its not often, ok I've never done it, that I crack jokes about myself. But I figured 1 year of doign these I can do it.
I was having a conversation with a few guildies, and this particular conversation was with Istanora. Now these were TELLS mind you, private pm's nothing out of the ordinary, but you know they are kind of well private. After all, the P in PM is Private Message. Somethings just aren't sacred anymore

Doing this front page over the past year has led to a lot of distrust in me. I can't understand why.

Well that wraps up this edition of WoT updates, I leave you with not one but two moments of zen
Remember before going into war you need your warface!

Nothing spells Fabled, then rogues screwing with corpses!

Loladene Dethwytch

10:48am UTC, 25th May 2009

Now to the update. This update will be different. There will be no laughter, there will be no humor. Just 100% hardcore e-peen waving going on here. Last I updated we had 2 out 6 events done in MMM. Krond and Breakneck had been owned and we were trying to figure out how to stuff a gnome doctor in a bag and toss her in the river. That time came three days after I updated! Seems everytime I update we get a new guild first the next raid day and everyone (4 people,) are chanting UPDATE UPDATE! Well we sacked Brinda five times since then!

Grats Murrin, Istanora, and Sweetmamma on Jingling Alloy Loop
Raryel, Masterblackorb, and Msha on Steamwork Welder's Multitool
Badabumm and Borammar on Impromptu Body Protector
Zhaeli on Merciless Beastkin's Husk Cowl
Utuzeneth and Msha on Shimmering Cabalist's Velvet Hat
Gilgamesh and KNoke on Raging Bloodletter's Hardened Helm
And Saundra on Rootbound Auspex's Husk Cowl

Well with half the zone dead, naturally you have to press on. The E-peen must be enlarged!
We pressed on to the most colorful room in the zone. Two large elite chessboards of a rainbow nature. Kind of makes you think that Paladins made the room.

Grats Razimir, Zhaeli and Borammar on Gear-Linked Cloak
Moorelight on Tiny Tinkermusic Box-o-Matic
Finelarya, Tinyhealer and Murrin on Oil-Resistant Facemask
Gilgamesh on Reflective Gem of Communication
Hairytoes and Eteria on Kidney-Removing Autoshank
Alba and Tryg on Raging Bloodletter's Hardened Gauntlets
Utuzeneth and Msha on Shimmering Cabalist's Velvet Gloves
Rulltufs on Depraved Vanquisher's Hardened Gauntlets
Saundra on Rootbound Auspex's Husk Gloves
Hairytoes on Vengeful Cutthroat's Scaled Gauntlets
Siegfried on Righteous Crusader's Hardened Gauntlets
Lueamien on Arcane Incinerator's Velvet Gloves
And Bamsefar on Merciless Beastkin's Husk Gloves

Well thats four mobs down. And it looks like the E-peen might have gained a centimeter. Lets drudge on. There must be more mobs here to help us gain E-peen. The last two mobs in the zone is Meldrath and Bargangle. Naturally since the zone is named after him we can't exactly go to Meldrath first. This is not WoW ladies and gentlemen. We must bang our head on a mob 100 times before we get access to the next zone!
So Bargangle.. what's to say about another lame ass robot? MELT IT DOWN! So we did...four times.

Grats Jitatha, Linxye and Brewce on Studded Engineer's Workgrips
Raryel, Torgrimsbane, and Msha on Intricate Engineer's Locket
Daska and Hardabit on Hydraulic Crushblade
Zhaeli on Auto-Aiming Steamcoiled Recurvinator
Trggve, Alba and Docoe on Raging Bloodletter's Hardened Greaves
Elteria on Vengeful Cutthroat's Scaled Leggings
Torgrimsbane and Masterblackorb on Putrid Corrupter's Velvet Pantaloons
Razimir on Merciless Beastkin's Husk Leggings
And Takkin on Relentless Hunter's Scaled Leggings

OMG ladies and gentlemen its growing! Oh the emense size of it all! MORE MORE MORE! What's left? THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING! And there is... Another midget in a tin can. Oh wait there is a twist! He's a necro! Oh he ressurrected a few mobs that we can tank and spank? Well the whole event is a bit more then that. But yeah tank n spank for about 90 minutes. Poor healers. Hope they got a cup under the desk. Now they know how the enchanters felt back in Planes of Power when we were doing the Rathe Counsil. So we crushed another can of gnome soup. Four Times.

Grats Nocturne, Sichlor and Elteria on Gnomish Engineer's Gearloop
Bardish on Hydraulic Hammer of Smashing
Istanora, Kaarkfu, and Bamsefar on Prismatic Faycite
Daska and Fairborn on Gearlock Steel Curvebow
Goldax on Self-Retracting Gearplate Mk. III
Sweetmamma on Blastertron Mechano-Pylon Mk. IV
Finelarya and Tenalina on Benevolent Lifegiver's Hardened Breastplate
Rulltufs on Depraved Vanquisher's Hardened Breastplate
Saundra on Rootbound Auspex's Husk Tunic
Masterblack orb on Putrid Corrupter's Velvet Robe
And Wenamcea on Righteous Crusader's Hardened Breastplate

So we have now gained access to Crystallos. End Zone 14. It will be a few more weeks before we can properly raid Crystallos. But I'd like to personnally thank all the uber guilds who cried, bitched and complained about only 6 drops per Meldrath kill. As we reap the reward of getting 12 per now. So with 4 kills, 12 drops per kill, and some gnome math that gives us 48 flagged for Crystallos. Just another month of farming and we start on some proper fantasy bosses! Final tally, we started off with baby gnome E-peen. Now we have baby ogre E-peen.

But now for the lighter side of things.
Sony picks a person or guild to "highlight them." For some ungodly reason, I say act of desperation, they picked us. Then again it might be because Jitatha was the only one to respond!

Torgrimsbane: Protector of the sleeping!

He doesn't mind getting down in dirty or getting knee deep in the ...

I'd like to introduce someone to you guys. Someone who has "Shocked" me. I thought Yllandra was an innocent little gnome. Evil indeed as she is a Necro but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine this stuff!First she acts like that movie Exorcism of Emily Rose ..

Then she wants some skin ...

Of course we can't have an update without mentioning gnomes! What happens if you agro Meldrath ahead of schedule?

I didn't even know they had magazines like this!

Daska wants a new armor slot in game!

Hardabit can't control hisself when he hears the word twins!

Since we Are talkign about hardabit. Pallies again admitting they are GAY

What is an update without mentioning Tryggve.
He has taught us many things over the years, and the lessons continue. Today's lesson. Proper Mez Breaking

He also can't control himself when an Ogre touches him

He also teaches us, that it is always best to introduce yourself

Finally, we reach the moment of Zen today folks. We in WoT think education is the most important thing there is out there. Some people.. apparently not so...

Loladene Dethwytch

10:28am UTC, 14th Mar 2009